If you hold Him in his rightful position, it is, at worst, an opportunity for ministry. Dude, I think you're way overthinking things. There's no one formula that will set you up successfully on the dating scene, nor does it have to be an all-or-nothing type of deal. You can take a girl out for coffee or have fun together without worrying whether or not she's the one you'll marry - in fact, worrying about marriage is only going to make you feel more intimidated by hanging out with women than you already are. You don't need to work yourself up about it. Singlehood isn't something you need to find blame for. I am, I overthink everything. I also hope I don't come across as gloom and doom, I'm really just sharing a story and love hopefully giving some encouragement and sharing some lessons. I agree, just struggling to even meet women. I've made some changes; finished a grad degree, asked for some help at work so I don't spend so much time in the office, but I need to live a little Ha ha, I'm in a similar place! Data was created wi th t he help of GSA Content G enerator Demoversion.
It's hard to make time to socialize and meet new people when all your energy is already taken up. Encouraging the hard questions is absolutely needed. Critical thinking and reason are things all young adult and youth ministries need. You are absolutely right. If I could stress any one point I made, this is it. This is absolutely critical to the single most important relationship in your life, your relationship with God. Go on a few dates with random girls, christian or not. Just seeing a girl for coffee isn't serious at all. I dealt with some of the same things you have. Reflecting afterwards upon how it went has really helped me gain confidence and understanding what to expect while on a date. Don't stress at all about dating casually. This is something I think the evangelical church runs into the ground. This accurate statement about marriage being a representation between Christ and the Church so hard, but what leads up to it is this grey area that is seldom talked about.
This creates an insane amount of pressure on both parties involved before the first date and creates insecurities about our faith that dont need to exist. Every girl you go on a date with does not need to be a potential wife. I know, meet women I know. Being more open is one of the lessons I mentioned, although you've stated it a bit better. I think dating non Christians is risky business, but I've totally ignored girls before that, for all I know, could have shared my convictions. That's ill advised, and lacks Faith for God to bring the right people into my life. I've had to learn some lessons the hard way, and I'm doing it later than most of my peers. You lost me at young marriage. You need to know that People are too interesting and unique to live a one-size-fits-all lifestyle. To borrow from the end of Pleasantville:.
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Some people might be able to make a young marriage work. Some might not opt to get married young. Others might not get married at all. No way of living life is better or worse than any other it's just different and there's nothing wrong with it. Totally agree with everything you said. I'm only suggesting people, and specifically a younger me, should have been more open to the idea. I not only shut down the idea of young marriage, but young dating. I had it in my head that I needed to be able to support a family before I took a girl out for coffee, or ice cream or whatever a younger me would have been into. Silly, foolish even, I think in hindsight. I don't comment on here too often, but am in a semi-similar position as you. I grew up in a home where I was encouraged to "wait until after college" though my parents have since said they never said that, but to wait until college I think most of my initial setbacks were sourced in my bought with depression and having very few friends, but as time went on I improved. This content was done wi th GSA C ontent Generator DEMO!
I just finished university, and in my last semester finally became much more social and went on a couple dates and bonded with a decent amount of people, only to graduate right after haha. As of now I'm job hunting and have few venues to find anyone. What I wanted to basically say is that I agree with your sentiment that some perspectives of this need to change a bit. More concentration on bonding with people, creating lasting friendships and relationships, and learning to figure out things "in the wild". The dating pool really does dry up. And, as an introvert, it can be worse. Thank you for such a thought-provoking post: I regret that I rambled on and on, but perhaps it was a bit therapeutic for me I'm glad it clicked with someone. Thanks for chiming in, it's good to hear others in the same boat. Care if I share some resources?