Getting back out there is different for everyone. Dating after divorce, much like divorce itself, is a different journey for everyone. That sounds like some psuedo Dr. Phil-ian babble, but it’s true. Getting back out there after the end of a marriage is tricky and everyone has their own timeline. For some men, there’s no time lost dating after divorce; they immediately get back out there, meeting people, tapping and swiping, and doing what they can to move on and love put the past behind them. For others, dating is put on the back burner after a divorce, and they take time to focus on themselves and their families. The rule many experts like to quote is that it takes one year to get over five-to-seven years of marriage. However, it’s different for porn everyone. But what is it like to get back to dating after divorce? We asked a dozen men about their experiences. Some took a lot of time, while others dove right into the singles’ pool.
Issues of anxiety or trust were mentioned. A few men viewed dating after divorce as an exciting adventure into uncharted territory, while others viewed it as be a comedy of errors that ultimately resulted in love. All learned a lot about themselves. Here’s what they had to say about overcoming fear, boosting self-confidence, and realizing that divorce doesn’t have to be the end, but rather a new beginning. 1. My best friend eased me back into it. "I got divorced about three years ago, and I was completely averse to dating. I was just anti-dating, anti-relationship. Didn’t want anything to do with it. My best friend and I were talking about it, and he convinced me to go out with him and a bunch of our other friends. Pretty harmless. We met some people, talked to some people. It was fun. Then we went out again, but it was just me and him. We struck up conversations with some women here and there and, again, it was fun.
That kept going on until I realized he was basically acting as my training wheels - helping me get back some confidence and showing me that making new connections can be a good thing. 2. I took it slow. "After I got divorced, I just needed to breathe. I hate to be cliché and say I needed to ‘find myself’, but that’s kind of what happened. I didn’t actively try to meet women. I didn’t try to actively date. I just sort of existed and lived my life. I didn’t wait for things to happen, but I didn’t try to force them either. And it worked. I remarried about four years after I got divorced. My now-wife and meet women I dated for a long time, took it slow, and completely ignored the pressure to get married. When it felt like the right time, we did. 3. I took it fast. "I just had to get back out there. My divorce was hard.
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My wife cheated on me, and basically left me for another guy. And once it was all said and done, I just had to keep moving, ya know? I downloaded all the apps, got on all the sites, and just tried to meet people so that I could focus on moving ahead instead of looking back. This was like six months before Covid, so I’ve definitely hit the brakes, and that’s been difficult. It’s like coming down off a high or an adrenaline rush, with nothing to do and nowhere to go. 4. I forgot about my "type". "My wife was my ‘type’. Then she became my ex wife. So, I had to re-evaluate what my ‘type’ was and, really, what that even meant. Since I’ve been divorced, I’ve gone out with women I never, ever would’ve considered dating years ago. It’s really opened up my eyes to how shallow my marriage was, and how narrow-minded I’d become. My ex was athletic, blonde, bubbly, which was what I thought I wanted in a relationship.
But the women I dated after the divorce showed me how young, stupid and superficial I was. I’m young, so I consider myself lucky. 5. I hid my kids… "I was afraid to tell dates I had kids. I have two girls, who are my world and my priority. But, man, it’s an awkward thing to bring up. Even if it was a date from a dating site - where I mentioned I have kids, and the woman knew I had kids - it’s sort of like the 800 lb. Is she going to ask, ‘So, you have kids? ’ Is there going to be a natural point in the conversation to bring it up? I think I psyched myself out on a lot of dates because of that train of thought. My current girlfriend has a son, though. When we met, our kids were all we talked about. 6. I’m still not ready.