Mental health considerations make living with anxiety challenging, but supporting a partner who has anxiety can also be a complex task. It requires understanding, patience, and a set of strategies to ensure both partners feel supported and connected. Here’s how you can effectively support your partner through their anxiety journey.
Understanding Anxiety
People grappling with anxiety often find themselves worrying about a multitude of things daily, becoming overwhelmed by concerns ranging from social interactions to financial stability and safety issues. Adults with anxiety don't just worry about themselves; they constantly fret over the well-being of others, especially their spouse, partner, and children. They are burdened with numerous responsibilities, such as providing for their family, and frequently question if they are raising their children properly or fulfilling their spouse's expectations. Individuals with anxiety are usually aware of their excessive worrying and fervently wish they could stop.
To be diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)—where anxiety is seen as a 'disorder' rather than a 'common human emotion'—a person must experience this intense anxious state on most days for a minimum of six months. Other prevalent anxiety disorders include Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), social phobia, panic disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), hypochondriasis, and somatoform disorder. Each of these anxiety disorders has specific therapies and treatments available.
Recognizing Anxiety Symptoms in Your Partner
Anxiety can manifest in various ways, often subtle yet impactful. Understanding these symptoms can help you support your partner effectively. Here's a comprehensive look at common signs of anxiety in a partner:
Persistent Fear of Imminent Disaster
Your partner might often have intrusive thoughts that something terrible is on the horizon. This constant dread can be overwhelming and affect their daily life.
Excessive Worry About Performance
A hallmark of anxiety is the relentless concern that they're not meeting expectations. This worry can extend to both personal and professional spheres, leading to significant stress.
Seeking Constant Reassurance
You may notice your partner frequently asking questions and needing validation. This is their way of coping with uncertainty and seeking comfort in your responses.
Perfectionism
An anxious partner might exhibit perfectionistic tendencies, striving to exceed expectations in every task. This drive, while seemingly positive, can be a sign of underlying anxiety.
Argumentativeness as a Defense Mechanism
If your partner becomes argumentative, especially when faced with situations they fear, it could be a way to avoid confronting their anxieties directly.
Obsessing Over Mistakes
Anxiety can cause your partner to dwell on both minor and significant mistakes for extended periods. This fixation can prevent them from moving forward and finding peace.
Fear of Change and New Environments
Your partner might show extreme worry when routines are disrupted or when they're in unfamiliar settings. This fear can limit their willingness to try new experiences.
Impact on Work Performance
Anxiety often affects professional life, making it hard for your partner to focus, meet deadlines, or maintain productivity.
Physical Symptoms
● Dry Mouth and Swallowing Issues: Anxiety can cause a dry mouth and difficulty swallowing.
● Nightmares and Sleep Disturbances: Troubled sleep,
including nightmares, is common.
● Restlessness and Irritability: Difficulty staying calm and frequent irritability are telltale signs.
● Difficulty Concentrating: Maintaining focus becomes a challenge.
● Muscle Tension and Headaches: Anxiety often leads to muscle tension and persistent headaches.
● Rapid Heart Rate and Breathing: Increased heart rate and quickened breathing are typical physical responses.
● Sweating and Trembling: These symptoms can occur even in non-stressful situations.
● Digestive Issues: Diarrhea and dehydration are also potential signs.
Understanding these symptoms is crucial for providing the right support to your partner. By recognizing the signs, you can encourage them to seek professional help and work together towards managing anxiety effectively.
Understanding the Causes of Anxiety
Anxiety often stems from external circumstances, such as relationship problems with a partner, family, or friends; work-related stress; job loss; financial difficulties; the death of a loved one; and other challenging life situations. Adults, in particular, may experience anxiety when they feel disconnected from their spouse or children, especially teenagers. This sense of disconnection can lead to constant worry about how to reconnect without adding pressure on the family.
Certain medications, physical illnesses, chronic conditions, disabilities, or traumatic events can also trigger anxiety. Additionally, some individuals may have a genetic predisposition to anxiety, especially if mental health disorders are present in the family or if they were raised in an anxious environment. It is crucial to work with a health professional, such as a counselor, to identify the root cause of anxiety.
Diagnosing Anxiety
Adulthood is often a challenging phase, particularly when it involves raising a family. During this period, individuals may develop anxiety due to the numerous responsibilities they juggle, both personal and familial. Mental health challenges can impact emotional, social, financial, and other life aspects, making it essential for those experiencing anxiety to seek professional help. Visiting a GP or psychiatrist is necessary for proper diagnosis, which involves systematic interviews and ruling out other behavioral and mental health conditions. To be diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), adults must experience heightened anxiety on most days for at least six months.
Treatment Options for Anxiety
Anxiety is among the most treatable mental health conditions, with full recovery being a realistic goal. Even if anxiety develops during adulthood, effective treatments can help individuals overcome this challenge. Treatment options for anxiety include:
Psychological Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for general anxiety. It focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Medication
Antidepressants and other medications can be prescribed to manage anxiety symptoms effectively.
Relaxation Therapy and Deep Breathing Exercises
These techniques help individuals manage stress and reduce anxiety symptoms.
Self-Help and Support from Family and Friends
Encouragement and support from loved ones play a crucial role in managing anxiety.
Support Groups
Connecting with others facing similar issues can provide a sense of community and understanding, helping individuals realize they are not alone in their struggles.
How to Support Your Partner Struggling With Anxiety
Educate Yourself About Your Partner's Anxiety
Understanding anxiety is crucial. Learn about its various forms and how it manifests in your partner. Everyone's experience with anxiety is unique. Observe when they feel most anxious: in the mornings, social situations, or while commuting. Approach this
Dealing with a toxic Relationship curiosity and warmth. Genuine interest in their experiences can be calming. If they are attending therapy, offer your full support.
Lead With Compassion and Empathy
Anxiety can limit activities and create frustration. However, expressing frustration can worsen their anxiety by making them feel pressured to "fix" themselves. They are not broken; they are managing a difficult condition. Encourage open communication about their feelings and concerns.