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Chinese Lunar New Year coming up this Tuesday. Year of the pig, or "DingHai." Chinatown is not how had been. In the old, pre-Giuliani days -- we're talking 1988 -- we stupidly wandered down Mott Street during the complete climax among the celebration (the climax, in contrast to our one-second toaster pops, lasted a mind-blowing 48 hours), bottle rockets, cherry bombs, M-80s missing our eyes by nano-meters-total lawlessness. More perilous than aged July 4ths (again, pre-Giuliani). These days, we're lucky to catch a dragon dance team from nearby senior citizens center. Still, Chinatown dish is better -- and cheaper -- in the past. We took the following walk, never spending higher than a buck on any gadget. Bring a friend and gorge.

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