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On this planet of relationship counselling at the moment there are three big gamers, these are Imago Relationship Therapy developed by Harville Hendrix and his wife, Helen Kelly Le Hunt; Emotionally Focused Therapy, developed by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg and Gottman technique therapy developed by John and Julie Gottman. As a specialist marriage and relationship counsellor I've personally skilled in all three of those relationship counselling approaches and am usually requested by individuals contemplating coaching my ideas on which approach I'd suggest; or by practitioners of a selected approach for my endorsement of their particular mannequin. From my perspective I see each of those approaches as having explicit strengths and weaknesses and in a great world everybody would prepare in all three of them. What I want to do in this article is to focus on what specific strengths and weaknesses I see in these approaches, with a view to informing others trying to make their choice. I should say by way of full disclosure that I am significantly extra skilled in Imago Relationship Therapy.
When I think about what I like most about imago relationship counselling it must be the dialogue. The story goes that Harville and his second wife Helen have been engaged in conflict and Helen advised Harville that they should take turns speaking and listening. They should have been a comparatively OCD couple as a result of they took this very actually and actually repeated each single word that their associate stated word for word. And what they found was that one thing magical occurred of their connection once they did this. This method has been strongly validated by a sequence of findings in neuroscience which confirmed that the close gaze and mirroring activates mirror neurons within the mind. These mirror neurons are extensively thought of to be the premise of the human/mammalian capacity for sex toys empathy. Other findings point out that seasoned practitioners of dialogue expertise a mind state that's similar to meditation. All of our group have some coaching in Imago Relationship Therapy. For a lot of shoppers, they could experience this in the primary session of couples therapy.
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The core characteristic of the standard imago session is a way of peace and calm stillness and deep listening. For a number of shoppers that is incredibly powerful because it is a strong counterbalance to the concern that that they had coming into counselling that it would simply be an emotional boxing match. In my experience imago practitioners are typically very passionate about the work they've achieved and it does seem to be work that they use practically in their own life. This has definitely been my own expertise. It’s additionally noticeable that even clients who just are mirroring in the client classes and don’t practice their homework, nonetheless discover a major enchancment of their ability to hear extra deeply to each other. The question that continues to be because of the lack of research is how lengthy this effect lasts for. It needs to be famous that it is a weakness present in all of the main models of couples counselling book which is a significant relapse charge among couples.